Sunday, December 04, 2005


In response to "Thank you for calling, this is Emmelyn", I have received the following greetings:

"Oh, hi Evelyn."
"Hi, Pamela."
"Hey, Emily!"
"Did you say Levela?"
"Hello Andrea."

In desperation, I switch:

"Thank you for calling, this is EMMIE."
"Hi, Debbie!"

Me: Thank you for calling, this is Debbie.
Woman: Yeah, I need to talk to Carma Devine*.
Me: (Scanning the employee list) I'm sorry, we don't have an employee by that name.
W: What? Oh, she works there. I want to talk to her.
M: I'm sorry, I can't find her name here . . .
W: Look, I know she works there, okay? Just give her a message for me.
M: I'm sor. . .
W: You tell that &%$#! to leave my husband ALONE!
M: Uh . . . Just one moment, ma'am. (Putting her on hold and turning to my fellow blonde) Does a Carma Devine work here?
YOB: Who? No . . . Oh, WAIT. That's Peter Devine's ex-wife.
M: The sales guy?
YOB: Yeah. At least, they were divorced. I think they got remarried last month or something.
M: Okay, but does she work here?
YOB: No, no, but sometimes she makes calls from here.
M: (To woman) Um, ma'am? I think you're looking for Peter Devine's ex-wife.
W: Yeah, that's her! You tell her to stay away from my husband!! Tell her to go back to cocaine rehab where she belongs! (She hangs up)
Me: (To YOB, who has been listening to my end of the conversation with interest) So, what's the story there?
YOB: Well. Peter and his wife have a pretty interesting relationship.
Me: How so?
YOB: (Pulling her chair closer) WELL, last year when they came to the Christmas party, they brought their girlfriend.
Me: Okay . . . Wait - their girlfriend?
YOB: Yeah. She's a stripper from Vegas.
Me: Did they introduce her as "their" girlfriend?
YOB: Yeah. I heard the reason they got divorced was because she wanted the girlfriend to herself.


Emily said...

The real question here is: did you drive away from this awesome temp job with one of those dare-not-breathe-on-them cars?

Emily said...

You know, as compensation for the pain they made you endure.

cotton_in_the_medicine_bottles said...

Truth is better than fiction.
Emmie, are you going to be in Utah on Dec. 14 for the premiere? I'm going to look for your phone number, but if you read this before I call, call the casting office. If you're going to be here, we'd like to put you on a VO CD.

Emmie said...

I wish. The girls did say they get a discount: $1,000 off a $150,000 car. Quite a bargain, that.