Saturday, February 04, 2006


After wrestling with the generic-brand cling wrap this evening as it clung to everything except the dish I was trying to cover (eventually admitting defeat and commencing the oft-futile search for a piece of tupperware with a matching lid), I decided that at last the time had come for this bargain shopper to fork over an extra dollar next time so that my cling wrap will actually cling and wrap as it should. These are the lessons we learn in life. Lessons learned the hard way. Lessons about things on which Thou Shalt Not Skimp.

My list is as follows:

1) Chocolate. We've all eaten that stale whopper and/or waxy foil-covered Easter bunny in desperation (or perhaps for no other reason than the fact that it was nearby), but there's just no comparing a vague sense of comfort to a euphoric sense that all is right with the universe.

2) Toilet paper. Steve did our shopping one day, and proudly displayed upon his return the 12-pack toilet paper bargain he had found. "One ply or two ply?" I asked innocently. And watched as his triumph turned to sorrow.

3) Laundry detergent. Not that one has to buy the most expensive brand, but I've discovered there's a reason why that 4 gallon generic bottle is on sale for $1.29.

4) Lotion.

5) Musical Instruments. My husband surprised me with this last year, and lo, it hath brought me exceeding great joy.

6) Perfume. If printed on the product you plan to spray on your body are the words "If you liked White Diamonds, you'll love Sparkly Semi-Precious Stones!", please just put on some deodorant and call it a day.

(Actually, I have issues with perfume in general. I think along with No Smoking signs there should be No Excessive Perfume-Wearing and Please Have Good Taste In Perfume signs, but that's another post for another day . . .)

7) Juice. I think it's fabulous when name brand juices decide to get all crazy with the fruit combinations. Orange peach mango? Bring it on!

8) Love. No skimping.

Got anything to add?


Emily said...

No skimping on haircuts. Better to wait months and then get a good one. Also, amen to two-ply.

steve said...

Wholehearted agreement from this overgrown scalp, Emily. I try to convince Em that "it's just about to get over the hump," but she's certain that my claim has more to do with vulgar, spitting camels than with my underachieving do. Though come to think of it, she reacts the same to both.

Emmie said...

Do I really? It's just that your hair has the tendency to become poofy and mullet-like if left untamed. It's your one and only flaw, truly.

Layt said...

Just stick with it a little longer, Stu.

Maman said...

Em! No offense to our ENTIRE FAMILY (and grooming issues aside), but you've got to admit that, thanks to such additions as your estimable spouse, it's looking considerably better for us, hair wise, going into the next generation. I mean, all my life I've wanted copious, poofy, curls-wildly-in-humidity hair that in the morning looked tangled and hysterical instead of just slept on.

And, speaking of estimable spouses (and re: Love Unskimping), I quote from Douglas H. Thayer circa 1980: "Quality time is when your kid's nose is running and you're there to wipe it."

Eric D Snider said...

Q-Tips. Don't buy the generic brand. You might just as well be jabbing your ears with pencils.

maman encore said...

Telephones/cellphones. So you can get more than the staticky gist of what your callers are saying.

Emily said...

I think it's perfectly fine for boys to skimp on haircuts. Nay, boys should skimp on haircuts, and frequently at that.

AzĂșcar said...

Cookware and baking pans/sheets.

Especially the baking items. Buy a cheap one three times and you've paid for a quality piece. Go ahead, burn those cookies with your cheap one ply aluminum.

p.s. We also learned the one ply lesson at our house last month. And by we, I mean he, as I've been successfully buying two-ply for years now.

Emmie said...

Thank you for the clarification! Steve and his poofy head were feeling all justified and stuff.

Excellent addition. I once got the tip of a cheap Q-Tip stuck in my ear. Very traumatic, that.

Amen, sister. I learned the cookie sheet lesson the hard way.

~j. said...

I see your laundry detergent, toilet paper, haircuts,and q-tips, and raise you paper towels (which, if not quality, are just like using toilet paper) and dish soap (must be dawn if you're going to get any grease off - i heard about a big oil tanker spilling on a freeway and they used DAWN to get it off the road!). Also, for my daughters, the no-tangle spray to get through their curls has to be a certain brand. What a great topic, Emmie!

wendysue said...

Emmie, you've got to get the Glad Press and Seal wrap. Heaven, I tell you, heaven! I will never by Cling wrap again.

#6 took me back to the girls locker room in 7th grade with a particluar girl and the "If you love Giorgio you'll love Primo!!" I had to do a google to find it and here it is!! Only .99!!

Emmie said...

I'm taking your advice. Glad Press and Seal it is!

Loved the link:
"For a fresh and feminine feeling all day, spray over entire body as well as under arms."

Way too many girls in Jr. High took that advice.

maman toujours said...

Easels, rose pruners, and perms.

cotton_in_the_medicine_bottles said...

Canned pineapple (only buy Dole) and cola--pick your poison, I prefer Pepsi, but do not buy store brand.
Oh, and cotton balls. Make sure they're 100% real cotton and not "cosmetic puffs!"

lisa v. clark said...

1. Windex
2. Scotch-tape
3. Root Beer (generic always has a peppermint aftertaste)

Skanky Chris said...

I totally agree with everything that has been mentioned and I'll add:
Cheerios (unless they are being served to toddlers who can't tell the difference anyway)
Lunch meat
make-up (especially mascara)
honey (I'm very picky about that :)!)

Kiki said...

-Mechanical pencils - Pentel Quicker Clickers are my #1 choice, and I will happily pay 6 bucks whenever I need one.
-Hot chocolate - I go all the way to Utah for mine: Stephen's.
-T-shirts. Why buy a cheap, plain t-shirt when you can buy this or this? Also, they are printed on American Apparel tees, the best ever!
-Kleenex pocket tissues.
-Lip gloss

c jane said...

Clothes. I never get skimpy clothes. Cause who can handle all this???