Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Lost Lashes: A Cautionary Tale

I can't remember how old I was when I started using an eyelash curler, but I can remember the day I regretted it.

Before I get into that, however, I must tell you that I have several friends who separate their lashes with a pin. A tiny, sharp, pointy pin! None of them has ever poked their eye (to my knowledge), but it still gives me the heebie jeebies to watch them do it.

Anyway, back to the day of my regret. While getting ready for a date, I was curling the lashes of my left eye. I was just about to release the curler when I sneezed. After opening my eyes, I realized that while I was still gripping said eyelash curler, said eyelash curler was no longer near my eye. And my eye was stinging somethin' awful. As I peered down at the curler with my one good eye (the other's vision being obscured by a torrent of tears), I saw what my sneeze (and vanity) had wrought. There, in a perfect little row, were all of my eyelashes. Except for one. When I was finally able to bring myself to look in the mirror, I saw one lonely, brave little lash sticking straight out of the middle of my rapidly swelling, otherwise-lashless lid.

Holding an ice cube over my eye, I pondered possible remedies. My date was picking me up in ten minutes, so what could be done? A sequined eyepatch? The fake eyelashes from last year's Halloween costume? Pulling all the lashes out of my other eyelid?

In the end, I applied a little extra eyeliner, and hoped for a dimly-lit restaurant. I don't think he noticed, although he may have wondered why his date spent most of the evening leaning in (she hoped coyly) with her right side.

Oh, and in case you're wondering? They do grow back. (Eventually.)


~j. said...

YIKES!! I've heard of the pin thing, and it creeps me out, too. For the love, get a mascara that's marketed to do that!

How did you deal with it until they grew back?

Emmie said...

It just looked pretty sad there for a while. The middle grew in first, and that looked just plain goofy! After my friends all knew what had happened, they found the regrowth process rather interesting (and funny).

Azúcar said...

Items I have used:
paper clip

Items I purchased about 3 months ago that have infinitely helped:
Brow brush and lash comb
Eyelash curler

Azúcar said...

p.s. do I know the date?

Emmie said...

A nail?!

I don't think you know him - it was an undergrad date. (Thank goodness it wasn't the prom or some such event!)

Emmie said...

P.S. A screw?!

c jane said...

I am glad that you added that they grow back because I was wondering the whole time.
I really was on pins and needles.

Azúcar said...

Now that I think about it, a push-pin, a cap from a pen, and a nail file too.

Hey, I'm resourceful. Lemonade and lemons.

I think wearing contacts helps. If you're used to foreign objects nearing your eye and not blinking, imagine the tools you could use! (Steve, stop snickering.)

Skanky Chris said...

You make me laugh! My only question is: Why don't I remember this!? Was I on my mission?
PS I confess to using a pin to seperate my lashes. My husband hates it and is certain I'm going to poke my eye out.

Emmie said...

Dearest Chris,
You were on your mission! If I didn't write to tell you about it, it was only because I did not want to trouble your mind with the vain things of this world, you skank.

sis of skanky chris said...

This terrifies me. I have not been brave enough to use my eyelash curler since I read this.

Oddly--and insanely--I find that I want to try the pin separation technique. What? Do I think I would be safer having a sharp object next to my eyeball when I sneeze?

Kiki said...

I'm sorry. This made me cackle so loudly. I'm sure it was horrifying when it happened, but that's a hilarious story. Fortunately, I was born with gifted eyelashes.

becky b said...

Yeah, mine didn't grow back. But I have a disease, so it's okay. You know, eyelashes are the only body hair that I actually miss!

julie said...

Hi, I'm a friend of cjane's and today I thought I'd browse her links. I've gotta say that I thoroughly enjoy your stories and this one made me laugh so hard! Thanks for sharing!

Also, would you mind if I put a link to your blog on my blog? I think my friends would get a kick out of it.

Emmie said...

Becky B.,
If I'd thought I could look even half as fabulous as you do without lashes, I'd have plucked the other lid in a second.

I'd be flattered if you put a link to my blog on your blog! Weren't you and cjane mission comps? I, too, ate poutine and knocked on doors with frozen fingers. Ah, the CMM. Good times, good times . . .

Kiki said...


There's a Canadian bar in Paris. When I lived there, a friend and I would go there all the time to eat poutine. Now, I make my own little version of it. I think that sounds like a great dinner idea.

julie said...

Yes, cjane and I were comps. Never worked harder than with her. I loved it! Hmmm. I can't say I was ever very fond of poutine. I know, I'll probably struck down for saying it. I'm just not much of a gravy person.