I'm Guessing They Were Disappointed

Once in a while, I like to look at my StatCounter to see what search terms have brought people to my blog. For my final blog entry of 2006,
I would like to share with you my top three favorites:

Helen Keller Nightmares
Ladies in swimcaps
Anne Hathaway Mormon?

And on that random note, a very Happy New Year to you all!!

Ma Vie en Rose

Yesterday I wore my rose-colored glasses. I bought them a few weeks ago at Target. It's taken me a while to succumb to the giant sunglasses trend: when I first began to notice them, I thought they looked silly; especially when worn by tiny Orange County teenagers - each lens engulfing an entire cheekbone. And my much-smaller lenses (purchased for $5.00 in 2002) were entirely functional, if not fashionable. But a few weeks ago, while shopping for Christmas presents at Target, I suddenly became aware that my eyes were tired and teary from driving around in the blindingly bright Southern California December sun (because I always forget my functional-not-fashionable sunglasses), and I decided the time for gigantic lenses was finally at hand. It took me less than 30 seconds to pick out the rose-colored beauties; I don't think I even came to a complete stop at the spinning sunglasses rack. There they were, directly in front of me, for $9.99. I placed them in my basket with nary a second glance - impulse purchasing at its quickest. When I got to my car, I put them on, and you know something? The world really does look better through rose-colored glasses. The trees were lightly tinged with pink, and the brown and beige terra cotta buildings took on a warm glow. I watched an airplane shimmer through a rose petal sky, and the clouds were pale cotton candy. When I got home, I didn't want to take my glasses off.

Sometimes a trip to Target and $9.99 can help you see the world in an entirely different light.

Ho, Ho, Whoa!

Yesterday I went to a hair salon in the mall to get my roots done. My salon has the word "International" in its name, but I doubt it is actually international. Kind of like when people put extra consonants and/or vowels at the end of words to make them seem more ritzy. Like "shoppe" and "towne." Just so you all know, I live in an apartmentte complexe.

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about my hair or my ritzy apartmentte.
No, my friends. I'm here to talk about the LARGEST CHRISTMAS DECORATION I HAVE EVER SEEN.

After exiting my international hair salon on the third floor of the mall,
I turned the corner and came upon this:



Big deal, you say. It's just a slightly fuzzy picture of a Christmas tree, you say. But you haven't looked over the railing yet.



Look at the people down there! They're so little! I had to go down to the ground floor to get a closer look:





As I was taking this picture, a little boy in a stroller was squealing with delight at the train weaving in and out of the roots of the tree (it even has train sound effects). Then he looked up at the giant Santa looming over him, and screamed in terror.

Let's go up to the second floor and get a closer look at that Santa:



If my apartment had a chimney, I would not want this man anywhere near it.

And the other Santa?



It kind of looks like he's winding up to hit someone over the head with that Christmas tree.

Let's go up to the third floor again.



The globe on the top has snow inside it that blows around.

Where do you think they store this thing? Some airplane hanger somewhere? I'm sure it comes apart, but still. And how do they put it up? Ladders? Cranes? Mountain climbing equipment?

I decided that I needed to film a documentary about it.

But first I needed to go to Borders to get some hot chocolate.