Sunday, October 28, 2007

The Dangers of the Delicious Cake

Recently, I had an email correspondence with my friend Blondie. At some point during our message exchange, one of us must have mentioned something about cake, because I received this from her yesterday:

"You know how gmail gives you links on the right side of the page that correspond with the content of the email?

Well, after the last one you sent me, the question 'Like Cake?' showed up on the side of the screen. I admit my interest was captured (who doesn't like cake!) and I clicked on it. The website contained a link that would send you to a quiz to determine if you were a 'fatty', as well as the following extremely informative paragraphs:

Cake! It's good in all it's varieties. It's not good for you and it's likely to make you fat, but darn, Cake is so good! Some of the best flavors of Cake are chocolate, strawberry, caramel and angel food cake.

Cakes are good for all occasions, including birthday Cake, wedding Cake, baby shower Cake and many other Cake events.

There are several different types of
Cake too. Angel food Cake, bundt Cake, flour Cake, cupcakes, ice cream Cake, pound Cake and so many other Cake types.

So, if you choose to eat
Cake on a regular basis you will likely be a fat Cake eater. Be warned of the dangers of the delicious Cake! Found out if Cake is making you fat.

Are You Fat?"


As Blondie so aptly put it: 

Um . . . what?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Smoky (and Cookie)

Well, as you've probably heard by now, California is on fire. I, personally, am not on fire, and it's looking like the flames will steer quite clear of us. However, ash is falling from the sky, the air is smoke-filled and eye-stinging, and everything smells like a campfire (including me, after walking from my car to the apartment). As a local friend of mine put it: "I feel like I've been eating toast all day." We are counting our blessings, though, and praying for the people who've had to evacuate, and for the firefighters.

In other news, I'm temping this week. I'm subbing for a woman named Cookie. It's on her business cards and everything! Cookie is on vacation. Yesterday, I answered the phone, and a woman asked to speak with someone in the office. I asked who was calling, and she replied, "Cookie!" So I said, "Oh, hi, Cookie. I'm sitting at your desk." And she said, "Okay, great!" Then I paged the call recipient, and told her Cookie was holding for her. A few minutes later, the woman who had answered the call came to my desk. She said, "You really need to ask for last names. When you said 'Cookie' was on the line, I assumed you meant the Cookie who works in the office, so I started talking to her like she was that Cookie. But she wasn't that Cookie. She was a different Cookie."

Questions:

1. If she wasn't that Cookie, then why, when I told her I was sitting at her desk, did she reply, "Okay, great!"

2. What are the odds?

Let me know if you come up with any answers. In the meantime, I'll be hoping for rain. And avoiding toast.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Boris


I've been thinking for a while now that I'd love to have some kind of exercise machine in my apartment. Although it wouldn't really go with the decor (it's unfortunate that IKEA doesn't manufacture treadmills), I would feel ever so much more productive if I could, say, go for a walk whilst watching AMC's Mad Men. I do love to multi-task. (And I do love Mad Men.) And I've really come to dislike my gym: it's kind of smelly and dimly lit, and it's full of creepy old men (in speedos).

Because our budget can't quite stretch to afford a brand spankin' new piece of exercise equipment, I turned to my good friend Craigslist. (Have you met Craigslist? If you haven't, you really should.) Within minutes, I'd found a stationary recumbent bike (perfect for my gimpy knee) for $99. Amazing! I emailed the seller right away, asking if the bike was still available, several questions about its condition, and when I could come take a look at it. About an hour later, I received a response. The response was as follows:


Yes.

Best regards,

Boris



Now, I really do appreciate best regards, and it was very nice of Boris to email them to me.  But I did ask him several questions, and, try as I might, I can't quite make "yes" the answer to any of them.  Plus, I have a mild fear of people named Boris.  I'm afraid that, assuming I'm able to find out where he lives, I will be met at the door by a large, burly man who will shout at me in Russian.  Either that, or he will have bolts coming out of either side of his neck.  I am seriously Boris phobic!  And, while I'm sure that there are some perfectly nice, neck-boltless men named Boris out there, that is really of little help to me when I receive a monosyllabic response to detailed questionings. Do you see what I'm saying?

Although he did send me his best regards . . .