Shiny and Fine
Several days ago, the following conversation occurred at my current place of employment:
Female Co-Worker: (Passing by my desk) Your hair is so pretty.
Me: Thanks!
FCW: It's such a pretty color.
Me: Thank you.
FCW: Is that your natural color?
Me: I wish!
FCW: It's not natural?
Me: Nope.
FCW: It looks really natural.
Me: Thanks!
FCW: It's really pretty.
Me: Thanks.
-Several hours later-
FCW: (Passing by my desk again) Your hair is just so pretty.
Me: Thank you.
FCW: It's so shiny.
Me: Oh, thanks.
FCW: Can I touch it?
Me: . . . I'm sorry?
FCW: Can I touch your hair?
Me: Um . . . sure . . .
FCW: (Stroking my hair) Wow, it's really soft.
Me: . . . . .
FCW: (Still stroking) It's very healthy.
Me: I take vitamins . . .
FCW: (Squeezing a handful of hair) Wow, it's not nearly as thick as it looks.
Me: . . . . Oh, yeah, well, my hair's actually pretty fine . . .
FCW: (A look of horror crossing her face) Oh, I didn't mean, I mean, I just meant that your hair looks thicker than it is . . . I didn't mean, I mean it's just so pretty!
Me: No, don't worry about it, I know what you meant . . .
FCW: I mean, feel my hair! MY hair is fine!
Me: No, that's really okay, I . . .
FCW: No, feel my hair! It's so thin!!
Me: (Gingerly touching her hair) No, your hair is . . . nice . . .
FCW: No, it's SO fine.
Me: . . . .
FCW: I'm so sorry I said that. That's not what I meant at all.
Me: Not a problem.
FCW: I just think your hair is really pretty.
Me: No, I know. Thank you.
FCW: Okay, well I guess I better get back to work.
Me: Okay then.
FCW: Okay. 'Bye.
Me: 'Bye.
Female Co-Worker: (Passing by my desk) Your hair is so pretty.
Me: Thanks!
FCW: It's such a pretty color.
Me: Thank you.
FCW: Is that your natural color?
Me: I wish!
FCW: It's not natural?
Me: Nope.
FCW: It looks really natural.
Me: Thanks!
FCW: It's really pretty.
Me: Thanks.
-Several hours later-
FCW: (Passing by my desk again) Your hair is just so pretty.
Me: Thank you.
FCW: It's so shiny.
Me: Oh, thanks.
FCW: Can I touch it?
Me: . . . I'm sorry?
FCW: Can I touch your hair?
Me: Um . . . sure . . .
FCW: (Stroking my hair) Wow, it's really soft.
Me: . . . . .
FCW: (Still stroking) It's very healthy.
Me: I take vitamins . . .
FCW: (Squeezing a handful of hair) Wow, it's not nearly as thick as it looks.
Me: . . . . Oh, yeah, well, my hair's actually pretty fine . . .
FCW: (A look of horror crossing her face) Oh, I didn't mean, I mean, I just meant that your hair looks thicker than it is . . . I didn't mean, I mean it's just so pretty!
Me: No, don't worry about it, I know what you meant . . .
FCW: I mean, feel my hair! MY hair is fine!
Me: No, that's really okay, I . . .
FCW: No, feel my hair! It's so thin!!
Me: (Gingerly touching her hair) No, your hair is . . . nice . . .
FCW: No, it's SO fine.
Me: . . . .
FCW: I'm so sorry I said that. That's not what I meant at all.
Me: Not a problem.
FCW: I just think your hair is really pretty.
Me: No, I know. Thank you.
FCW: Okay, well I guess I better get back to work.
Me: Okay then.
FCW: Okay. 'Bye.
Me: 'Bye.
posted by Emmie at 8:44 PM
19 Comments:
Single White Female anyone? Em, I knows you done grew up in Utah where all the folks is nice, but I thought you would have learned in Harlem that the correct answer to the question
"Can I touch your hair?"
is
"No way you psycho hose beast!"
Are you temping at this place I hope?
I can't believe they edited this out of the movie (Napoleon Dynamite)!
For the record, you do have nice hair.
Tomorrow she may move on to your skin, so watch out. Your skin is so fair and unblemished. It looks so soft. Can I stroke your skin, etc, etc, until you are forced to filed a sexual harassment suit.
This post has been removed by the author.
Isn't feminism awesome?
Well, at least it was better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. (or was it?) P.S. I love your hair, too. If I was within reach, I'd ask to stroke it as well!
Emmie,
I don't want to stroke your hair.
Fondly,
-C
You know what, Em, if you weren't such an adorable human being I would wonder how you attract such strange, forward individuals. (I'm thinking Mr. Speedo should meet this lady). But who could blame them?
Just the same, beware of this one. She sounds like she might be suffering from a borderline personality disorder. Single white female indeed!
As you would say, M'kay . . .
Odd, very odd!
Josh,
For the record, I like you.
Ladies,
Not to worry - my folicly fascinated co-worker is now kind of avoiding me.
I'm glad she's avoiding you -- I would be frightened, just a bit, otherwise.
Wierd!
Em,
Are you using Pantene? Cuz when I was running at the gym this morning there was a Pantene commercial and they kept talking about how "shiny" it will make your hair. If you are using Pantene, maybe you could be a testimonial for their next commercial showing it really works!
Just don't forget what happened in "Of Mice and Men."
Chris - if she ever invites me into a barn, I am so not going in there.
Your hair is gohgeous.
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