Sunday, January 27, 2008

Dusty Dreams

"What would you think about living in Southern France?" My husband asks one Saturday afternoon.

"Sounds great!" I reply, barely glancing up from my book.  

I am not at all surprised by his question.  At least once a month, Steve asks how I would feel about living in some far away, non-English-speaking place.  If we were being stereotypical, you'd think that I would be the one asking these day-dreamy questions, seeing as I'm the artsy type, and Steve is all logical and computery and stuff. But Steve is nothing if not non-stereotypical (what?), and when it comes to dreaming, Steve is quite industrious.  Case in point: upon waking one morning, Steve told me he'd dreamt in great detail of building an airplane and flying it around the world.  It was a thrilling dream, he said, and seemed to go on forever.  

"And what did you dream about, Em?"  

"Uh, I dreamt that I made you a steak for dinner.  With potatoes."

So when Steve asked me yesterday how I'd feel about living in the Mojave desert, I automatically responded:


And then, after a few moments of reflection,

"What did you say?"

"The Mojave desert!  There's a company there I want to work for - it would be my dream job!"

"Are you serious?"

"Actually, I am."

"Don't they have offices somewhere else, too?  Like maybe . . . Venice?"

"Nope.  Just Mojave.  We could get an awesome house there for super cheap."

"So I'd have more rooms in which to silently weep.  And decorate with cacti."

Then he told me more about the company.  It was pretty nifty, I had to admit.  

"Not only could we get a huge, cheap house, but they give their employees every other Friday off!"

"Great!  More free time to frolic about in the DESERT." 

This dream was quickly becoming a realistic nightmare.

"Oh - And they also say that it's a real plus for job applicants if they've built their own plane."

"I see.  Well, you should probably get right on that then."

And back to dreaming he went.  

Sunday, January 20, 2008


A few days ago, as I was standing in line at a cafe during my lunch hour, I overheard the following exchange between the two women wearing tight business suits and spike heels who were standing in front of me:

Woman 1:  I think it just made him feel totally emasticated, you know?

Woman 2:  Yeah.  Totally.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

A Snider Friend

I was wondering why my statcounter registered a gazillion hits today until I noticed that many of my blog's visitors were linking from the venerable Eric D. Snider's website. Eric and I have a unique and special relationship, for I believe I am the only person who has ever made him walk at least 40 more New York City blocks than he had to, all because I thought a restaurant was somewhere where it wasn't. Not only did Eric forgive me for making him walk those 40 unnecessary blocks (at least, I think he did), but his website has provided me with countless hours of entertainment, especially during interminable temp jobs where the only things standing between me and a slow death from boredom were his Snide Remarks and theater review archives.  

So Eric, I salute you, and I'm truly flattered to be mentioned on your blog.  And if you have a statcounter/tracker thingy, and ever wonder who in the world is browsing your really old theater reviews and angry letters, well, now you know that you are keeping that person from throwing herself out the window of her latest temp job, as well as keeping her from getting any actual work done.  And I hope that makes you proud.

Ever your fan,


Sunday, January 13, 2008

Mahalo for your Kokua

Have you ever been off-roading in a jeep on the isle of Kauai? I haven't, because I'm too much of a wimp. However, my husband, brothers-in-law, and sister-in-law are very much not wimps, and they now have fond memories of:

bouncing along this trail:

this incredible view:

And changing this blown-out tire:

(By all accounts, the tire was changed in a very professional, timely, and orderly manner.)

Although I was not brave enough to participate in the off-roading adventure, I did participate in many delightful activities, such as:

Making a trip to sample what is reputed to be the best shave ice on the island (it was quite delicious):

(Please take a moment to appreciate Steve's Giant Hawaii Hair™)

Reading lots of books while enjoying the view from our condo:

Watching amazing sunsets:

Dinner at Roy's (one of the best meals I've EVER had):

(That gleam in my eye is from contemplating filet mignon with truffle and leek sauce)

A muddy and very fun hike to see a beautiful river and waterfall:

Snorkeling in the clear water and saying hello to the brightly-colored friendly fish:

(Photo courtesy of my bro and sis-in-law's super cool underwater camera)

And playing on the beach with my adorable nieces (I was having too much fun to take pictures).

This trip was a perfect way to start 2008 - a year in which I hope to accomplish many things (so many, in fact, that it makes me tired just thinking about it)(but in an excited kind of way).

One of my New Year's resolutions is to post a new blog entry every Sunday night. Stay tuned to find out how amazingly consistent I can be! (Or not.)